Bad Reality

THE PERSON WHO READS WHILE WALKING

Dear person who reads while walking:

Is it my responsibility to escort you across the street because you're too busy making the rest of us feel bad that the Google has taken away our ability to read on paper?

Unlike having to put disinfectant on my 90 year-old aunt's bed sores, sadly for you, it's not my responsibility. 
So next time you feel the need to parade your reading skills about town, do it where you're not relying on the general public's goodwill to guide you through the streets unharmed. Because next time I see you I promise I'll make it my sole duty to kindly escort you into oncoming traffic.

THE ANTI-RENEGADE PEDESTRIAN

Dear anti-renegade pedestrian:

Why must you look at me l ike I'm some renegade pedestrian when I decide to walk before the official "walking" sign blinks? 
I do not appreciate you projecting your fears of inadequacy on me because I refuse to obey useless societal crosswalk regulations.
Rather then transfer your jealous rage into a unison of stink-eyes meant to shame me for my maverick jay-walking actions, why not join me? Come one, come all! Together we can rid the world of nonsensical street rules that beat away at our sense of dignity and individuality.

I will walk when I see fit to walk and I hope you will all join me.